No. 1
The fish, first
That month's brand-new fish, hand-pressed and in your hands before it's laid out on the ice for the general public. You outrank the counter.
The Fish of the Month Club
The Gold Envelope
first fish, every month
Once a month, before it ever touches the ice, the newest fish is pressed, papered, and sealed in a heavy gold envelope, then posted straight to your mailbox. You'll have it while everyone else is still leaning over the counter asking what's new.
$9.99/ month
Billed monthly · shipping included · cancel anytime, no hard feelings
actual envelope may contain fish
The Unboxing
What's in the envelope
No. 2
The gold envelope
Heavy gold paper, stamped shut with a real wax seal. Opening it feels like being knighted, except you get a fish.
No. 3
Letter of Authentication
Species, scientific name, home waters, diet, top predator: every fact sworn true and signed by Dave himself, Registrar of Fishes.
No. 4
First dibs, forever
Members hear about special drops and new fish alerts before anyone else. When something rare hits the ice, you already knew.
The Papers
Every fish comes certified
No mystery fish. Each envelope carries a Letter of Authentication like this one, so you know exactly what you're dealing with.
Certified Fresh
Dave's Fish Stand · Office of the Registrar
Letter of Authentication
No. 0042, issued August, 2026
This is to certify that the specimen enclosed herewith is a genuine, hand-pressed, honestly-weighed
Rainbow Trout
Oncorhynchus mykiss
- Home Waters
- Cold Utah lakes and stubborn mountain streams
- Diet
- Mayflies, caddis larvae, and anything shiny enough
- Top Predator
- The great blue heron. Also Dave.
- Disposition
- Flashy. Fights well above its weight class.
Dave
Registrar of Fishes
How It Works
Pressed, sealed, posted
1
Pressed first
The month's new fish comes off the press and the first run is set aside for the club. The ice can wait its turn.
2
Sealed in gold
Your fish is tucked in with its Letter of Authentication and the envelope is stamped shut with wax. Very official. Slightly dramatic.
3
Posted monthly
In the mail the first Friday of every month, shipping on the house. $9.99 flat, cancel whenever.
Membership
Join the Gold Envelope
$9.99 a month. The newest fish first, papers and all.
Cancel anytime, the fish will understand.